Log 3

     

    In the third and fourth weeks, I read Chapter 3, titled Expectations and Reality. The author conveys a key truth: the first rule of happiness is to keep expectations low. It's a well-known fact that when we set high expectations—whether regarding our quality of life, income, or the outcome of various situations—and reality falls short, disappointment often follows. This disappointment can even lead to negative emotions. The underlying issue is that excessive expectations set us up for failure by creating an unrealistic standard.

    The author compares the 1950s with the present day. In the 1950s, a single salary earned by the breadwinner, typically the father, could support an entire family, including the spouse, three children, and a pet. However, compared to today, even with two incomes in a household, it is difficult to raise three children and one pet. Despite higher salaries than in the 1950s, our standard of living has not necessarily improved. Why? Today's economy excels at generating three things: wealth, the ability to show off wealth, and great envy for others' wealth. We often find ourselves thinking, "I want that. Why don't I have that? Why does he have it, but I don’t?" Although we may have higher incomes, more wealth, and bigger homes, these are quickly overshadowed by inflated expectations.

    From my perspective, while having higher expectations can motivate us to achieve more, unrealistic or overly ambitious expectations can lead to failure. This emphasizes the importance of managing expectations correctly to lead a happy life. We invest time and effort to improve our quality of life, income, and skills, but we must ensure that our efforts align with our expectations. Imagine longing for a life filled with money, fancy cars, and mansions, yet never feeling satisfied. This dissatisfaction often arises because our expectations increase as rapidly as our circumstances improve. As a result, we never feel content; we constantly want more to meet our rising expectations.

    However, starting with lower expectations doesn't mean giving up or limiting our potential. Instead, it means that when the outcome meets or exceeds our expectations, we feel happier. In my opinion, whether our life is happy or filled with dissatisfaction is entirely determined by whether our expectations are high or low. We alone manage and control our lives. Lowering expectations doesn't mean putting in less effort. To me, it's a step-by-step process: achieving a goal, feeling fulfilled, and gaining the confidence to set and accomplish the next one. Even if the outcome doesn't meet my expectations, I won’t feel upset or pessimistic.

    Some may argue that high expectations drive them to strive for their goals, and I agree. High expectations can indeed be motivating, but the mindset we have is crucial. If I fail, I should remain positive and accept reality. Overall, while the author doesn’t explicitly mention mindset in this chapter, I believe mindset is at the core of setting expectations and accepting outcomes. A positive mindset helps us handle any situation, regardless of whether the outcomes of our high or low expectations are successful or not.