Log 6

True freedom is more like what the book describes: facing all the hidden secrets within yourself, no matter how embarrassing or dark they may be. It might be painful and unbearable, but only when we truly liberate those hidden secrets and the buried parts of ourselves can we achieve genuine freedom. That happiness comes from finally opening your heart to confront the sides of yourself you once considered ugly. This secret doesn’t necessarily have to stem from a specific event. Sometimes, it could simply be your own self-doubt or an inexplicable sense of anxiety.

In the past, I buried all my negative emotions and even self-destructive behaviors deep inside, believing that by doing so, no one would notice anything wrong with me. But deep down, I knew that keeping this secret — the secret that "I am not okay at all" — felt like a blade piercing straight into my heart. Yet, I couldn’t scream or seek help.

It wasn’t until my struggles were discovered that I started receiving treatment. I began taking medication and attending therapy sessions, but even during therapy, I refused to admit to that secret. I didn’t want to acknowledge that I was truly unwell. It wasn’t until I read the part of the book describing this idea that I realized I had always thought burying my secret was far easier than confronting it.

But after reading that passage, I finally understood that maybe all these treatments and therapy weren’t helping because I hadn’t faced my secret. Only when I confronted it and admitted that I wasn’t okay did I feel, for the first time, a slight sense of relief.