Log 6

This time, I’m writing Log 6 after a two-week gap, which gave me plenty of time to finish reading the book. Over the past two weeks, I read chapters 5 to 10: "The Ponytail," "The Brewsters," "Aunt Rose's House," "The Betrayal," "A Pretend Boy," and "The Top of the Greasy Pole."

Chapter 5 describes how Sam notices physical changes in his brother Jason, the most obvious being that Jason has grown a ponytail. This detail puzzles Sam, and he still can't fully understand the difficulties Jason is facing. One night, Sam sneaks into Jason's room, cuts off Jason's ponytail, and hides it, thinking that doing so will make his brother "normal" again and bring the family back to how things were. At this point, I feel that Sam is too naive. The core of the issue can’t be solved by cutting off a ponytail; this action could actually backfire. Moreover, he underestimated Jason's firm identity as a transgender person and hurt his feelings. If it were me, I would also be furious and might even consider running away from home if something I cherished was taken away by family. This leads directly into Chapter 6.

In Chapter 6, after an argument with their parents and Sam on Christmas Eve, Jason leaves the house to stay with Aunt Rose for a while. Waver’s mother feels that the atmosphere of having only three people for Christmas dinner would be too heavy, so she invites the Brewster family over. The Waver and Brewster families talk politics at the dinner table, but suddenly, the Brewsters ask why Jason isn’t home for Christmas dinner. Waver's wife lies, saying that Jason is volunteering, and the Brewsters express confusion over Jason’s appearance and behavior. This makes the Waver family and Sam feel uncomfortable. I feel that the Brewsters' critical attitude makes Sam realize for the first time how being transgender can cause discomfort and misunderstandings in social situations. After all, explaining Jason's transgender identity takes a lot of time and energy, and even then, it might not be clear. It’s often easier to avoid talking about it with others, and I can understand why Waver and her husband would want to avoid mentioning it in front of strangers.

In Chapter 7, Aunt Rose sends a letter and money to Sam, asking him to take the train to visit her. After meeting Aunt Rose, Sam is puzzled by many of her actions and ideas, such as having taken in homeless people and Syrian refugees, developing relationships with them, and even marrying them. She also sold her car and switched to riding horses because she thought driving was too expensive and the emissions harmful, whereas horses don’t consume oil, and there’s no need to pay taxes or buy insurance for them. When Sam asks Aunt Rose where Jason is, she only says that Jason has gone elsewhere but that her friend Jessica will be visiting later. When Jason arrives, however, Sam sees that "he" has now become "she" — Jason has transitioned into Jessica. To me, Aunt Rose seems not only to be a unique and open-minded woman but also one of the few people in the family who supports and understands Jason. Unlike his parents, Aunt Rose shows an open attitude, encouraging Jason to express his true self and offering emotional support. This provides Jason with some comfort in his struggles and also allows Sam to see a different way of responding compared to their parents.

In Chapter 8, Sam faces a major blow—his best friend Laura betrays him by revealing his brother’s secret. Laura was one of Sam's closest friends, and Sam had confided in her about his confusion and struggles with Jason being transgender. But Laura breaks Sam's trust and tells others about Jason's identity. This betrayal deeply affects Sam, and at the same time, it impacts his mother’s political campaign. Setting aside the political campaign, I can understand Sam’s pain. I’ve experienced the hurt of having a secret spread around, and I can empathize with his sense of betrayal. However, the consequences of Jason’s transgender identity being exposed go far beyond what I have experienced. The Waver family is under intense scrutiny, with all of Britain watching their every move, while I am just a small, anonymous figure. It’s hard to imagine how immense that pressure must be.

In Chapter 9, after Jason's transgender identity is exposed, the Waver family is surrounded by reporters every day. News outlets and newspapers focus on them, and the parents are overwhelmed with the demands of the campaign and public opinion. One day, Sam encounters Laura, who explains that she didn’t mean to reveal the secret, and Sam accepts her apology. That evening, when Sam returns home, he finds his parents and political leaders discussing the campaign. His mother decides to withdraw from the race, realizing that family is more important than becoming prime minister. As they head to the door, ready for her to announce her withdrawal to the press, Sam sees Jason in the crowd. Jason is now sporting a buzz cut, unshaven, wearing a sports jersey and jeans, looking unwell. Sam feels that Jason now looks like a "fake boy," and despite all the struggles Jason has faced, he has compromised and abandoned his preferred appearance for his mother's political future. As reporters swarm Jason with questions, Sam shouts, “There is no Jason. My brother’s name is Jessica.” After reading this chapter, I cried. As a Cancer, I’m particularly sensitive to family emotions, but what moved me was the changes everyone made for the sake of family: the parents putting family first, Jason's compromises, and Sam standing up for the brother he has always admired and loved. This familial bond is so precious that people are willing to let go of their individual convictions for the sake of family unity.

In the final Chapter 10, after the interaction with the reporters, the mother’s approval ratings soar, and she wins the election for prime minister. After she becomes prime minister, the parents' attitude toward their children changes. They go from being consumed by politics and ignoring their kids to making time to meet with the family every week and discuss everyone’s life. Jason also gets into college and truly begins living as Jessica. She takes special medication to gradually transform her physical appearance and starts dressing beautifully, embodying her feminine charm. As for Sam, he no longer faces exclusion from his peers and openly tells others, “My sister is Jessica.” In this last chapter, I finally see how the Waver family has gone through the process of accepting their differences and redefining their family relationships. However, I also feel a bit confused about the "happy ending." How could the parents and Sam suddenly wake up and accept Jessica after all the earlier arguments? But perhaps life is like that—at some point, under certain circumstances, we realize that our previous views were wrong, and we change our attitude.

Reading this book made me realize how important it is to be true to yourself and live courageously as your authentic self. Jason began exploring his identity during his school years and was no longer afraid of outside judgment. His courage is something I can learn from, as I tend to worry about what others think. Many people in life never truly get to know themselves, and the process of self-discovery is often accompanied by challenges and difficulties. In the story, the Waver family works hard, from their own perspectives and emotions, to understand and accept Jason’s choices. This made me reflect on how love doesn’t always come easily—it requires time, understanding, and tolerance. I hope to learn to be kinder and more accepting, giving others the time they need to accept and understand, especially within families, where everyone’s efforts and intentions deserve more patience and support.