Log 5

So far, Annie and Buster are still trying hard to find out the truth behind their parents’ disappearance. They start to deeply review their parents’ past performance art works, and try to understand their parents’ motivations and intentions through these clues. Even though they suspect their parents’ disappearance might be one of their performance art works, there’s no evidence showing whether their parents are still alive and are really conducting their performance art or have truly died…

However, the more I read, the more I realize that Annie and Buster are gradually understanding that the Fang couple never cared about their growth or emotions. The only thing they’ve ever cared about is pursuing the performance art they love. This links back to what I mentioned before in a previous log about irresponsible parents. The Fang couple not only failed to fulfill their duties as parents but also manipulated and forced their children to do performance arts “which only they themselves liked.” They never cared about their children’s feelings. These kinds of parents, who use their children to achieve their own goals, are just like those parents in the news who earn money through their children—taking advantage of their children’s cuteness by sending them to be models for magazines and videos. Most people might think that children don’t even have a problem with whether they like it or not, or that children should listen to adults to be considered good kids… These self-righteous adults never really care about their children. Many things are just “as long as they (the adults) are happy” or even “why should children care about so much?” so that ignored the children’s feelings. Although I don’t really feel qualified to criticize parents for their failures, I do feel a lot of disgust towards these behaviors of adults.

Actually, Annie and Buster slowly start to feel the coldness and indifference of their parents too. They choose to step out of this huge shadow and face a “life of their own” instead of a “life controlled by others.” I think I can somewhat empathize with how hard it must be for them to escape from that shadow. It must be really painful and tormenting, and not something that could be overcome easily. In fact, many people live for a long time with an unshakable shadow in their hearts. If I were one of these siblings, Annie or Buster, I think it would be very difficult for me to step out of such a long shadow as well. Even if my life seemed to have stabilized, I would still likely be filled with fear and anxiety, constantly worrying whether someone else might force me to do something again…

This book, whether from the perspective of the Fang couple or the children, makes me reflect on the relationship between me and my family in real life and the way my parents educated me growing up. It makes me realize how truly lucky and happy I am as a child!!!